“Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is GOOD and pleasing and perfect.”
Do you know what are the behaviours and customs of this world? WHY EVEN CARE?
Ironically, the Business world is studying very carefully your behaviour and customs. Google and YouTube can predict them! Crudely put, you are being studied because ultimately you have needs and needs = money = profit = happiness and worth. Or so they say.
We are built for meaning and significance. We have worth and value, and the world knows it.
There is a weightiness to this time we live in, and everyone is sensing it. Politicians, Social Scientists, Prophetic leaders, Teachers, Musicians and Artists are all speaking about it.
Do you know what is God’s GOOD will for you in this weighty hour?
I want to encourage you today.
I believe from all the research that is coming out from so many different sources right now, we are living in a SHAME based culture. The behaviours and customs that are being evidenced right now are the outcomes of what I call the SOCIAL CANCER of our day, SHAME.
The world is diseased with SHAME and it is fatal.
I submit that if we do not arrest this disease, it will be the end of our destinies, organisations, and our very civilisation. Right now I believe this to be the no 1. reason taking out so many Churches and individuals.
Shame has a story. Shame has a narrative. It is a narrative that can be CHANGED! But we must be willing to hear the story. Emotion is the way to that narrative.
Again one of the biggest concerns and focus in Business and Education right now is around helping people develop a value, respect and maturity in their emotions. We call this emotional literacy.
Shame is an emotion and experience. Shame says “You are bad”, “Who do you think you are?”, “you are not _____ enough.” It erodes our identity and suggests our behaviours are our identity.
It has the same impact on the brain as trauma. And it was all over the first moments of Adam and Eve’s story.
This is its narrative.. “I will reindentify you with your worst day, worst choice, worst actions.” It attacks our creativity, our lovability and our divinity.
Even right now as you read these words, you probably are experiencing that emotion. Speak the word SHAME, and it typically triggers shame. But the inverse is also true, speak the word SHAME and it dies.
Every morning we wake up and armour up. The world is a tough place.
Life has its moments of grabbing you by the scruff of the collar and yelling in your face, “I am serious. What will you do with the time you have!”
And so in SHAME based cultures, we armour up with fear, blame, disconnection, perfectionism, comparison, competition and slander. All of these are ways to off load pain and the discomfort of believing the social narrative that you are bad and not _____ enough.
The world begins to transform us with this thinking. Recent Sociological research under Dr Brene Brown has discovered that when SHAME is running the narrative of the day, the behaviours and customs are addiction, aggression, abuse, suicide, eating disorders, bullying and violence.
Who we should fear and who is to blame is the strongest narrative of SHAME’s story. Every morning every newspaper and new shows centre around these two questions. Every day in our family homes, these two questions pop up.
The power of the Sovereignty of Jesus is that He put SHAME on the cross. The whip of mockery, His body took. This was the human cost of taking our shame and covering us with His love and healing. When we receive Jesus and do this for each other, it is transforming. Darkness trembles. Dignity is restored.
The greatest transforming moments of my life have been when I encountered the narrative of honor and love that covered my imperfections, my dances with shame, rather than exposing it, punishing it, disassociating from it or slandering it.
There is nothing more amazing than being around those who do not think according the pattern of this SHAME world, who have been healed and work hard at resilience to this social cancer.
Jean Vanier in his book Becoming Human, says it this way. “We can bring each other to birth as we respect and love one another and as our value is revealed to us through the love of others.”
This is why I care.
I have seen it.
And it changed me forever.
If this blog has stirred or inspired you to pursue more about how you can get free of this social cancer, check out our Living Courage e-Courses. Get some friends together & go after more!