Dealing with Offense

There is simply no lack of opportunity to be offended!

Offense is everywhere. It’s the trending subject that seems to want to dominate any area of our relational lives from the private to public.

It can be so hard!! You’re rolling along when all of a sudden, offense snags you and you find yourself in an emotional rumble you didn’t expect.

You can feel cheated, robbed, belittled.

This is not a new trending issue. This has been part of the human experience since the beginning.

Proverbs 18:19 says, “It is easier to conquer a strong city than to win back a friend whom you’ve offended. Their walls go up, making it nearly impossible to win them back.”

Offense hurts. It hurts the one who caused it, and the one who experienced it.

So what do we do with hurt? 

This is arguably the single biggest question of this decade? 

Social Scientists, Teachers, Parents, Politicians, Business Owners, Christian Leaders, every Civic Authority has been asking this question.

Dr Brene Brown said in 2019 just prior to the Pandemic, “THERE IS NO WAY THROUGH THE NEXT DECADE WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING PAIN.” What a prophetic statement that was!

What will we do with our hurt?

There is more than an emotional battle going on here. There is a spiritual battle too.

If we don’t understand that human atmospheres and spiritual atmospheres work together, we will be taken out by them.

Ephesians 6:12 says, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

Our battle is NOT AGAINST EACH OTHER. Our battle is with a spiritual power and spiritual hosts.

This is why the Devil is terrified of you praying! Because when you pray, when you reject and repent of agreeing with a spirit of offense in Jesus name, you decimate the spiritual power and force behind the situation that anchors into your emotions. 

The Devil is terrified of you praying.

We have to deal with offense on a spiritual level in order for it to move on the human level.

Proverbs 12:16 says, “If you shrug off an insult and refuse to take offense, you demonstrate discretion indeed. A shrewd man conceals his shame. But a fool has a short fuse and will immediately let you know when he’s offended.”

On the emotional level, offense is real. It reveals something that is important to you, something that you value.

The experience of offense digs into one of the biggest emotions that is slamming so much of our culture right now, shame.

Proverbs 12:16 connects offense with shame. No doubt that when we are offended by a comment, a choice, a decision by someone else, it can evoke shame in us. 

Shame is that deep feeling that yells at us, we are not enough! It can even say we are bad. It shot guns our identity and what we value.

But this verse also prophesies that despite feeling this intense emotion, we do have a choice to ‘shrug it off and refuse’ it.

The hidden gift of offense is the opportunity to step up in the number one thing Employers and Leaders are looking for especially this side of the pandemic, emotional intelligence.

In fact, I believe that without developing our emotional intelligence, we won’t go very far in our gifts and call from God, let alone shrugging off offense. Not in this day. Not in this age.

So as we unfold into a new year, look down the columns of dealing with offense and make a decision.. what will you do with your hurt?



Heavenly Father, thank you you love me and think the world of me. Thank you that what is important to me is important to you. Thank you I am loved by you unconditionally!

Heavenly Father I reject the spirit of offense sent against me by the enemy. Every trace of this influence and this mindset I cancel over me now in Jesus name.

Please forgive me for buying into this. 

I forgive those who hurt me and didn’t value what I value.  I release them now in Jesus name. I speak blessing over them and trust you with them. 

Holy Spirit I invite you to teach me how to ‘shrug off’ offense and build a new mindset, a new way of managing myself with others. Holy Spirit I ask for the mind of Christ and the grace to accurately represent Him well in my life and my relationships with others.

Thank you Holy Spirit for loving me and cheering me on. In Jesus name , Amen.

What Others Are Saying

Helen’s teaching around shame was eye opening and showed me how I was constantly living under shame. The course helped me change the way I think about myself and how I live day to day.

“Shame is that painful feeling I am not good enough” and this course taught me how to build habits into my life to come against this and other shame statements I have believed.

“We are never not going to experience shame but we can move through it and not be defined by it.” I am no longer defined by my shame experiences.

Highly recommend the Living Courage course.

– Sandy, Worship Leader, Australia